VALIDATION

such a strong word if you really delve deep into the meaning of it. why is it, so few people in your life are capable of validating? it should be a skill taught to our youth. a common courtesy - like saying please or thank you.

one of my very dear and loved friends talked to me about this last night. and he was so spot on. this little blurb from wikipedia really hits it on the head:

"In psychology and human communication, validation is the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other's opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard, and (regardless whether or not the listener actually agrees with the content), they are being treated with genuine respect as a legitimate expression of their feelings, rather than marginalized or dismissed."

this reminded me of a theory I once realized in my dark and gloomy twenties - there are people that talk. there are people that listen. there are people that simply wait to talk. you don't ever want to be that person. the person that waits to talk is so self involved they don't have the time or right to listen to you talk. a perfect combination is the person that can listen, validate, and talk. point blank. that is who you want you "person" to be.

i'm pretty fortunate. i've got a few "persons". they get me. they VALIDATE ME. one of those "persons" was in my life as a teen and has recently come back into my life. it's like a breath of fresh air. a renewed sense of self. to know - wow - someone else on this planet really gets me.

so go ahead with your day. but take this with you - the next time you are having a conversation - are you simply waiting to talk? thinking of the next thing to say? or are you there, in the moment, listening, giving your conversation partner validation - respect. now that you've thought about this - you will always be conscious of it with each conversation you have.

happy humpday. now go forth and validate.

I saw Wilbur in my sleep...

so the morning routine goes like this:

I walk in to wake up the still sleeping child:

ME: hiiii baby!!! morning! did you sleep well? did you have good dreams?

HER: (normally) hiiii momma! yeah....

(yeah is the answer to anything even when you ask the child - do want a punch in the nose? yeah!!!!)

HER:(today) hiiii momma! i had good dreams. i saw wilbur!!!

ME: you saw WILBUR? the PIG? when? where?

HER: when i sleeped momma!

ME: really? you mean you dreamt about wilbur the pig?

HER: hehe - yeah momma. when i sleeped.

ME: who baby! how exciting! good dreams!

HER: yeah - hehe - momma - he's sooo cuuute! wilbur!!!

my girl EFFIN ROCKS!!! she's already dreamin like it's her job just like her momma! in technicolor, no less!

I present to you...

The NEW Simpson Family...

Shelley Simpson

Kennedy Simpson

Ron Simpson

The bed is made and my coffee cup makes me happy

i know, a long post title - but it's the truth. part of my keeping home in order progress will be to "attempt" to make the bed everyday. however, "they" say that a made bed harvests and incubates those nasty dust mites i am apparently allergic to. yet, an unmade bed harvests and incubates my dog as he decides it's HIS bed during the day. ok bailey. the jig is up. no more snuggling UNDER the covers in the dead of summer, because you are too proud to curl up under my feet under my desk like any normal dog should. yes. you are too cool.

and the coffee cup? from none other than target. too perfect. too me. thick, ceramic, chocolate brown with some floral, bird, butterfly thingy designed on it in yellow, teal and a pinkish burgundy. happy morning coffee love.

the mug 3.99
the housekeeper 175.00
my annual bonus 131% over plan
my happiness and sense of accomplishment - priceless

happy thursday

I REALLY CAN BUY MY OWN HAPPINESS...

i have always been of the school of though that money cannot buy happiness. but you know what? that's not true. really. it's not. it can. trust me. i have been fighting getting my home in order for over two years now. when i moved in here, i was 5 months pregnant. didn't realize when the house was being shown, how filthy dirty the people that lived before us really were!

two and half years later, and countless arguments with the DH about hiring a housekeeper, i won. and you know how i won? i hired one and just plain didn't tell him! period. they are here and i am about as gleeful as a child running around looking for change to spend on the ice cream man as his little truck tools through the neighborhood playing what the hell is that song? i am giddy. excited! i want to scream it from the rooftops! i have arrived people!!! i can finally afford a housekeeper!!!!! wooo hooo!!!

really. is a little over a hundred bucks to much to ask to buy sanity for your wife? i think not. cleanliness is next to godliness. so, we'll see once my home shines like a shrine! it is the number 1 top item on my list of frustrations... cleaning the house to a point of satisfaction. i've never achieved it. ever. hopefully this is the dawn of a new day.

on other fronts...

i decided i'd take some time off last week and have my gall bladder removed. i mean, it's one of the useless organs we have been given. why not? right? oh, did i mention it was 90% full of gall stones? yes, people, that's 90%. so, i had it out. dr. tyler, the same doc that got the pleasure of removing my gross thyroid took care of me. let me tell you, that man is an artist. i have 4 incisions... 6 days post op, that look like paper cuts. not even noticeable once they heal 100%. today is the first day, i can honestly say, i feel great. i ate - didn't feel sick after like i used to. and who knew? i never even knew i was having gall stone issues. i had had a stomach ache "episode" the week before and just couldn't shake the pain. so i went to the doc and here we are.

that being said - five surgeries in four years.. i need to work on something to get done next year! hey, what about the appendix? i only need one kidney and one lung.. let's DO THIS! seriously, though.. i really, truly, madly, deeply hope this turns a corner for me and i am on the road to good health. i've been fighting something, consistently for two years solid now. pancreatitis, pneumonia, 10 sinus infections, the flu, constant stomach problems, aches, pains, oh and did i mention the depression and anxiety of my 20's returned? or did my post partum baby blues just get put on a delay and then resurfaced after the baby was over a year old?

so... i have a new outlook. my home and my health are my #1 priority. if all of that is squared away, everything else should just fall into place. i am believing in this. i have to. the fight has worn me out and i am tired of faking my happiness.

all in due time, right?