today B the day...

i have a hangover. and no, not of the alcoholic nature. of the scrapping nature. now i know.. any non-scrappers reading this ... you just don't get it. it's like this. you feel creative. you sit down in your studio to create something. yes, you sit down at 11:00pm. you create. and then it comes on stronger, and you create more. you create create create... then you say... holy SHIT! it's 3:00AM. so you leave the studio a disaster... a pathway out the door. and you go to bed. you wake up a few hours later, because it's still the work week and you've got one more day to put in. and you physically feel.. hungover. you even have the shakes! woah. need coffee!!!

so... TODAY is THEE day.. We B will annouce their online/kit club/design team!!! i don't think i have a shot in hell.. but i did it anyhow. check out the gallery here... http://www.webscrappin.com/forums/PhotoPost/showgallery.php?cat=516
the suspense is REALLY killin me! i mean REALLY!!! so anyhow.. off to get some much needed coffee and then pretend to work for most of the day... it's going to be tough, but i will pull it off somehow!

happy damn friday!

my little artiste...

can life GET any better than this? or cuter for that matter?

life is good. today.

we recently underwent some troubled, trying times as new parents. a fluke of the flu with our girl, led us into a tailspin of tests and doctor visits, and more tests in the future. i don't quite know how i was able to stay so positive throughout the whole thing, and battle the flu myself, and still come out on top. i mean, our children are supposed to be perfect, right? perfect. no deformities, no anomolies... a word i have SO grown to hate. i have been angry. i have questioned God. i have questioned the goodness of people. and then it happened. that whole pay it forward concept.

you see, i reached out. to strangers. not something i normally do. but it's these group of "strangers" that have felt more like friends to me than many tangible friends have ever felt. i belong in the scrapping community. it's just where i am meant to be. it's a world free from judgement and full of praise. praise for being creative, for being honest, for offering advice. praise for just being you. i reached out and it was given back. i received phone calls, emails, posts when i went MIA for a few days. even a client of mine reached out to me, as she hadn't heard from me in a few days. unbelievable. pure goodness. like my blog page.. scrappin goodness.

i've questioned God for most of my life. simply because so many good things have been taken from me way too early. before i was ready. before those taken.. were ready. i just question it. but as i get older, i am beginning to see.. there is reason in all of this. considering the life i have had so far, the childhood i experienced, statistics would have me being an addict, a criminal, an unfit mother... but instead.. i am SO completely the opposite. i have stregthened in adversity. somehow. someway. and now.. i am beginning to truly believe in the power of prayer. i do not go to church, probably never will. but i do have my own relationship with God. and you know what... it's ok. He gets me. and somehow.. people have prayed enough for me over the years... someone is really looking out for me.

so.. wow. long blathering, deep, emotional stuff today. a bit much for a tuesday? maybe. but you know what? "i believe the heart of life is good..." so get over yourself!

pre - easter happiness for a new momma...

Long, blathering post of just a typical easter eve for a new momma....

So, today started off a TAD too early for my liking... with my girlie waking at FOUR AM!!!! so, we headed downstairs, momma snoozed on and off, and when I finally "came to" she had destroyed the living room. toys from one end to the other and every spot in between! but the squeeze and a "awwww...i missed you momma..." was so totally worth the mess!

we headed to the zoo this morning for brunch with the easter bunny. met my favorite brother and his family there. WOW. amazing. we went last year, very low key, not many people at all. PHEW! this year was nuts! i would say well over 125 people... food was great, we got goodies for the girlie, all the girls, momma included, got our faces painted! how fun is THAT? and you know.. i remarked to my SIL.. i don't ever remember doing that as a child! had a great time at the zoo.. kennedy noticed SO many things, made tons of oh so cute comments... including.. "kennedy, what does a fox say?" her response: "OH MAN!!!" (thanks, Dora!) we didn't stay long, as it was about 28 degrees and started snowing! APRIL PEOPLE!

she was asleep before we hit the highway. we got home, and all three bears settled in for a loooong pre-easter nap. we all woke up around 5:00 wondering where the day went!

out to get eggs. BAD momma. tried to get them yesterday, but the droves of people at the store freaked me out and i made a u-turn in the parking lot and came right back home! today was no better. not only are new yorkers rude by nature, they become ignorant during the holidays when out in public in grocery stores. and did i mention rude? i mean some woman was actually blathering on at her handicapped, old mother in a wheel chair, ARGUING in front of he eggs! hello??? do you a$$holes not KNOW it's easter EVE? takin your friggin argument away from the eggs people! LORD! some days, i HATE NY-ers.. and i'm one of them! finally get my 2 dozen... on home...

My FIRST TIME coloring easter eggs as a MOMMY! I guess I didn't know we needed vinegar!??? All I had was red wine vinegar, so we had to borrow from a neighbor.. it was SO last minute... but what did i know? the last time i think i colored eggs, i was prob 10??? what a BLAST. i think my girlie KNEW something was up. she was getting SO excited. not to mention, she got to sit in what she calls, momma's big girl chair at the kitchen table. daddy got all the colors ready, while we dried the eggs and got everything else ready. we took 36 shots of the adventure. some of the BEST comments out of an almost two years old:

• wow! it's sooo fun!
• ooohhh.. pwetty colors momma...
• i do it.. i do it...
• nother one, nother one...
• oooohhhh.. amazing... (said when we pulled the first egg out of the dipper)

then on to decorating them...momma loves her some bling, and i had just bought some cheepie self adhesive blingy flowers.. brought those down... my child is an ARTIST!

• oh momma, so beautiful!
• look... is so pwetty... pweety flowas!!!
• ohhh, amazing.. it so bootiful!
• so fun. thank you momma. thank you dada.

she rocks. undeniably the most brilliant child i have ever known. unreal. we then put out carrots for the bunny and a special egg for him. she sampled some carrots first and said "yeah, good for bunny momma. really good." she played, pooped out quick, and was back in bed by 9. then momma got to work...

assembled the easter basket of all easter baskets. filled some eggs for the "bunny" to leave in a trail from her room to the easter basket. all the while i'm thinking.. this kid is gonna grow up and have the coolest holidays ever... her momma just loves this stuff so much. i commented to daddy a few times today.. i'm SOOO glad she turned out to be a girl... this is just too too fun.

so that's about it.. can't WAIT for tomorrow.. to see the looks of surprise at all the goodies.... i am sure i will have a more emotional post about it.

till then.. sleep well and have jelly bean dreams.

ciao and hop-hop!

toxicity

i am trying to rid myself of it. emotionally, physically, mentally. it can creep up on you and get inside.. and you've no way of letting go!

confused? in the words of my honorary nephew, Noah.. "let me break it down for ya..."

YOU are the only one that can control your own happiness. I have learned this the hard way. it is not my friends that control it. it is not my husband. it certainly is not my coworkers. IT'S ME!!!

When I surround myself with toxins.. food, people, situations, i tend to let it grab hold of me, and then have trouble letting it go. i deal with this on a daily basis with work, mental.. which then i attack myself physically, food... and you see how the circle goes.

so, this year, i've come to a better place. for the first time in a LONG time. i am in control. i'm not letting the personalities get to me. everyone is in charge of their own happiness. i am not the keeper of anyone's but my own. i've been in a good place, so far this year. good things are happening. and i am finally learning to pay it forward. my new motto for the year.

so, i really have no earthly idea where this deep waxing philosophical me came from. but put that in your pipe and smoke it.

one of my FAV sites had this quote today.. .maybe that's what spurred it on...

"Cherish forever what makes you unique, 'cuz you're really a yawn if it goes!"-----Bette Midler

twenty on tuesday

ok, so i've lacked in the blogging consistency, i know. but LIFE happens. get over it. i will do my best to do better, etc etc etc.... so here goes it...

1. once again, i feel like crap. was sick most of last night. oh well, story of my life. i better get over it.


2. the sun is trying SOOO hard to come out. but i understand it might SNOW this weekend? hello, people.. it's effin APRIL!


3. need to go back to bed.


4. kennedy is rockin out the make-believe world. playing with her "guys", making them eat, making them kiss.. it's too cute.


5. i cropped with one of my most favorite people this weekend.. the woman just rocks, and half the time, i don't even think she knows it. i always get a ton accomplished when she's around...


6. my bedroom is CLEAN. like walls scrubbed, dust bunnies gone, kind of clean. all thanks to my sweet, sweet hubby.


7. my office is a mess.. again.. this time with piles of bags of items that will make up, quite possibly, THEE best easter basket EVER for my girl...


8. we are going to have brunch with the easter bunny saturday.. can't WAIT... and then a day at the zoo!


9. coffee is good


10. missing meds is bad.


11. monday night tv sucks ass.


12. is anyone reading this crap?


13. i'm so not creative today


14. why are you still reading?


15. see number 3.


16. see number 9.


17. i miss my best friends.. joaney and allison


18. today, i WILL get a TON accomplished


19. maybe i need a shower


20. oh hey... i won a RAK at "A Fancy Word for Simple!" YEAH me!

Happy Tuesday.. now go make it a GREAT day!

A Letter To Kevin Bacon...

many of you probably follow Ali Edwards' blog, and are familiar with her fight for autism. You've seen her talk about her Six Degrees Badge, in which Kevin Bacon will make a matching contribution to his top 6 contributors. He was on Ellen the other day, and was talking about his organization, Six Degrees, and mentioned a woman in Oregon who's badge is in honor of her son, who has autism. how's that for paying it forward? and scrapbookers who watched that immediately knew he was talking about Ali. i have donated. my daughter doesn't have autism. but what if? there's always that chance. and why not? it's $10. 10 flippin dollars, people. if you haven't donated, you should. 10 = one trip to starbucks for me.

so, in listening to this and reading ali's blog, i felt compelled to email Mr. Bacon's site, in the hopes that my letter makes it into his hands. i want him to know what an intricate part of our little scrapbooky world, Mrs. Edwards really is. i mean, when have you stopped by her blog, with your morning coffee, and NOT been inspired? she puts it ALL out there. she challenges the everyday. and you know what? in the words of AE.. .

IT IS OK.

here's my letter.. now go donate, damnit!

http://www.aliedwards.typepad.com/

Dear Kevin,

I have been following the Six Degrees Campaign, namely the Ali Edwards Badge for her son Simon. I was dumbfounded to hear you mention her on Ellen yesterday. You mentioned a woman from Oregon who’s son has Autism. This woman, whom I’ve never met in person… is astounding. Not only is it an everyday fight for a cure for Autism and research for her… she is a light and a fire in the lives of women across the world. You see, Ali belongs to this tightly connected world of Scrapbookers and Paper Crafters across the world. She creates art, everyday. She shares her life, everyday. She inspires, everyday. And she does this selflessly. Honestly.

So, as I sat and watched the webcast of your little snippet about Six Degrees over and over again, there were tears. Tears! There were tears streaming down my face. A woman in Oregon. WOW. If you only knew what an inspiration she is to all, not only through her never ending fight for Simon and those affected with autism... but it's her daily inspirations. The inspirations to help us to look deeper. Listen more closely. Watch more intently. To life. To create with reckless abandon. I have become a better artist because of her. Not to mention, a better mother, woman, wife, friend… because of her thought provoking words.

I believe in my heart, what you are doing is a good thing. Really good. Paying it forward. I am a HUGE believer in that theory. And let me tell you, Ali Edwards is truly an example of this theory. I do hope her charity earns your match. I hope she has the honor of meeting you some day.. for it would do you a great honor to have the pleasure of meeting her. To simply sit down and have a cup of coffee with her.. you will see what I mean. And me? Never even seen her in person. But I have coffee with her every day. Each morning, her blog is the first place I visit. It’s the first place I look for inspiration when I am compelled to just jump back into bed and wish today had never begun. Divine inspiration.

Cupcakes and other things...

i had my very first experience baking with my daughter the other night. now mind you, she is just about 2. what a BLAST that was. i mean, seriously. who knew motherhood could be so grand. now, to some, this may not seem like a huge deal. but to me? i've waited my whole life for this. to have a sidekick. and that *someone* up *there* really knew it had to be a girl.

fast forward to the next afternoon. said cupcakes were ready to eat. they were very intricate for momma. including pouring jello into them after they dried, then frosting, then creating flower petals out of marshmallows to decorate the top. so flippin cute. to die for actually! so, post lunch time... my girl is given her very first cupcake! she wouldn't touch the damn thing. wouldn't touch it. it had come right out of the fridge. she exclaimed, "it's too cold momma.. too cold!" so we had to pick the marshmallow treats off the top, place them in her mouth, as she stated, "too sticky, momma! you do it!" so we realized... our cupcake is afraid of said cupcake! does she know what she's missing? anyhow.. made for a great little story line, which will make for a great little layout.. which will make for one very happy momma!

on other things... still NO WORD on the friggin JOB! ugh! i was so angry to a point. makes me realize perhaps i really don't want the job afterall. i have been told twice that i would have an answer, and both times, let down. very unprofessional, in my book. so, i have not let this get me down. i've vented, i've let the anger go. the boss i hav enow is a gem and i would be sad to lose him. he provides not only professional growth on a very sincere level, but in turn, it creates personal growth as well. he has helped me to become a better listener.

so, it's thursday.. the week is almost over. i've got BIG plans for myself this weekend. going to tackle the bedroom. a very, very sore subject in my life. perhaps if i can make an improvement or two, i may post a pic. let's just say, when you live in a house that is almost 50 years old and not much has been upgraded in those 50 years.. you are left with some funky-ass paneling on one wall and the same funky-ass paneling on the ceiling in matching squares. let's just say, it's so funky-ass, we can't even begin to describe it. oh and i've got shabby chic style and no way to make it work. but we'll see what a can of paint might do in there.

till then.. take care and happy thursday-ings!

on getting published...

So, for the first time ever, i got the glorious email in my inbox from Memory Makers... one of my LO has been picked up for their book called 601 Great Scrapbook Ideas.I will write more later... but for now.. i can't keep my feet on the GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

music warms my soul

wow. i am still in awe. so much so i almost can't even put it into words. i had so many good bloggy ideas to compose about my john mayer experience... but it was so amazing, i just can't put it together. but i will try. i never really knew how much music moved me. never. i mean, i knew it affected me in such a positive way. but the john mayer show my husband surprised me with moved me into such a good place. i think i was waiting to get into that place, this show just gave me a slight push. and i fell.

i have been a fan of john mayer since i first heard his "inside wants out" cd. never did i know what an astounding guitarist he is. watching him get into his groove was like watching a passionate love encounter begin and end. intense. at such a young age.. he is at a level few ever make it to. he is one of the greats. not only does his sound make me happy.. the lyrics reach to the depths of my soul on so many different levels.

music makes me happy. simply. happy. i must be surrounded by it from this point forward. constantly surrounded. i know, i probably sound like a total nerd.. but hey.. to know me is to love me. regardless. i found my happy place in the last couple of weeks. this music just pushed me into head first.... and so i leave you with this... i do truly believe now, the hear tof life is good. simple. and good.

"The Heart Of Life"
I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But, then your circle of friends
Will defend the silver lining
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good
~ John Mayer ~