so, i've been in a funk for about 10 days now. it all began, of course, with an argument with the hubby. i just can't shake it. some ugly things were said.. and they've resonated in my mind for ten days now. i have a three day theory... if i can mull over something for three days and get over it, it's gone. if i can't, it's worth bringing up over and over again. yeah - he doesn't see it this way. i got home from my trip, almost wishing i hadn't. i wanted to cry when i walked in the house. but know that DD is the age, she understands mommy is sad if i cry, i can't do it in front of her.
so. here i am. in a funk. i created most of the day saturday. thinking that would help. it did.. temporarily. i created some (i think anyhow) good stuff. a couple of gifts for my best friend's first new home. i hope she will love them. but the funk it keeps arising! man. can't shake it. fell asleep to it, woke up in the middle of the night to it, so much so, i think i was having a panic attack in my sleep. woke up short of breath and had gasping pains in my chest and upper back. i turned over, they passed. and go figure, i had one of those dreams that i kept waking from all night and kept falling right back in where i left off. to keep it short... i could NOT for the life of me, make it to the alter on time... go figure.
and yeah, instead of working, like i should be doing. i'm bloggin. hoping i can release some of the funk "out there" and one of my goody goody girlfriends will come back with some amazing advice i have yet to hear.
have a splendiforous monday. i'm gonna turn the music up load and try to shake this funk away.
peace out.
6.18.2007
6.12.2007
Pull my Finger and I'm Taggin...
Ok, so... thanks for pulling my finger. I tooted! it's a small toot, but a toot just the same. I've got a LO posted on the http://www.cosmocricket.com site. woo hoo!!!
and my new, dear, sweet, adorable friend Nicolehttp://www.nicolecarro.blogspot.com/... and i normally don't do those email fwds, tags, quizzes... but heck.. it's a good way to get to know people, yo!!! so here's the deal.... and YO! if i tag you.. you BETTER respond.... because you KNOW i am a NY-er and you KNOW us NY-ers have connections, yo!
haha, really though. respond. damnit! I want to know more about you too!!!
so here's the rules:
These are the rules.... each player starts with 7 random fact about themselves on their Blog. People who are tagged need to blog 7 facts about themselves and post the rules as well. At the end of the blog list 7 people you are tagging. Let them know that they are tagged by leaving them a comment.
and my new, dear, sweet, adorable friend Nicolehttp://www.nicolecarro.blogspot.com/... and i normally don't do those email fwds, tags, quizzes... but heck.. it's a good way to get to know people, yo!!! so here's the deal.... and YO! if i tag you.. you BETTER respond.... because you KNOW i am a NY-er and you KNOW us NY-ers have connections, yo!
haha, really though. respond. damnit! I want to know more about you too!!!
so here's the rules:
These are the rules.... each player starts with 7 random fact about themselves on their Blog. People who are tagged need to blog 7 facts about themselves and post the rules as well. At the end of the blog list 7 people you are tagging. Let them know that they are tagged by leaving them a comment.
- my daddy was an undertaker. yup, i've been dropped off and picked up from school in the herse. and yeah. death doesn't freak me out so much. and heck... think of the job security in THAT industry!!! really!
- i've got great lips. not being narcissistic... i do. they're full. they're pouty. so much so, i had a client ask me once... "wow! you've got great lips. where did you get them done?" i cracked up. only in THIS generation do those sorts of questions get asked.
- i love being a mom more than i ever thought i would. in what other career are you treated like a rock stor everyday by your number one fan!!!! "mommmmaaaa!!! you're HEAR!!!" after i've just left the room for 10 minutes!
- i have THEE ugliest feet of any woman i've ever known.
- i began acting in theatre when i was 7 and i danced for 12 years. really thought i'd have a career in performing arts. what the hell happened?
- along the lines of 5... i really would like to be a stand up comedianne someday. really. my life? one big stand up routine. it all began when my dad called the fire department to our house when i was 7, because i overflowed the toilet!!! material. i've got good friggin material.
- i have had a ton of jobs in my young life... adult life only two in the last 11 years... but as a youngin... ive made dentures, taken pictures at JCP, cleaned pools, been a nanny, a barista, a hostess, a manager of a tow truck company, shoe salesperson, retail shop clerk, and CEO of my very own lemonade stand!
ok, so i tag you:
- Jen - http://arttalk-sigmagirl.blogspot.com/
- Leslye, y'all! - my new HEB chica! http://doyougiveascrap.blogspot.com/
- Ali E - http://www.aliedwards.typepad.com/
- Stacy J - http://stacysbigpicture.typepad.com/
- Kat - http://katyat34.typepad.com/being_30something/
- GINA - http://gina-scraps.blogspot.com/
- DEBBIE - http://silverpooloflight.blogspot.com/
6.08.2007
GET THEE TO WE B......
So, I am fortunate and honored to be an Island Girl for We B Scrappin. This is my LSS and not only are the owners, Pam and Kathy, top notch... the customer service you get is a force to be reckoned with. They always welcome you in with a big smile and that is even from Judy, Pam's Mom, when she is hiding under the cash register from the UPS and FedEx men!!!The products in that store are so versatile, eclectic and just plain fun. And if I don't see something I want, a simple mention to the girls, and POOF, it's ordered for you! Now that is just awesome.
The latest, most coolest, most greatest addition to We B, is the Message board and KIT CLUB!!! This KIT ROCKS!!! Nicole is the one who puts all of these yummy goodies together for you... i mean just plain gorgeous.. so yummy.. you want to eat them up! I suggest you wander on over to the Island... NOW.. and check them out! A feature has recently been added to the Kit Club page, that allows you to see past months kits! I have been thrilled with each and every one so far! Not to mention the reasonable price... for the amount of quality items you get in the kits... TOTALLY worth it! Let me not forget to mention the awesome friendships that are to be found on the message boards. I can honestly say, I think I've met some lifelong friends already! The ideas and inspiration you find on that board... AWESOME! AND.. did I mention we were International!????? Yeah, that's right.. WE REALLY ARE A BIG DEAL!!!
So... I demand you.. GO HERE NOW!!!!
6.07.2007
Oh my.. Miss Stacy Julian... I *heart* you!
long blathering post... beware...
It all began in February. the pre-registration for CKC Buffalo. i had been the year before. still considering myself a newbie. i wasn't excited to see the "celebs".. couldn't pick most of them out from the crowd. this year... I'm an old-timer. deep in the trenches of supply hoarding and the like. come on.. you ALL know what i mean. don't deny it. you do it to. and i follow the "celebs" daily. yes, i have coffee with Ali, Cathy, Donna, Heidi, Stacy, Tara... in that order, since i have my favorites alphabetized. i feel like i know them. i post comments, most times. but i feel like a stalker. but then i realize, you know what? these are just normal people. just like me. they blog. i blog. they create. i create. i have musician love affairs in my head. so does CZ. hey, it's a common thread. if we lived near each other.. they would WANT to be my friends... hahahaha, I'm just that cool!
all kidding and smartassedness aside. this weekend, while at CKC.. i fell in love. i fell hard. i took Stacy Julian's class, "Finish Line Scrapbooking". all i can say is.. wow. that woman. she. amazed. me. period. i was in such a good place mentally and so happy to be at that convention, which left my mind open and ready to soak up any new knowledge like a sponge. and i did. i had bought Stacy's book a while back.. and i just wasn't getting it. you see, i am the type of learner that has to read it, do it, see it done, and talk about it. and that's when i get it. the personal touch she gave to each one of us in class was amazing.
she began by telling me how cute my purse was... of course.. it's an elisalou.. and then when class began... she came over, sifted through my pictures.. and she got it. right away. she got it. she teared up.. she had me bawling. just by looking at the pictures, no lo's, no journaling, she got what i was saying through my pictures. that just rocked. i then began her process and felt so friggin refreshed. like i was given a new lease on scrapping. permission to just let go.and i did. and i DID trust her. she then came back and looked at me completely lo's and told me i was really getting it. and one caught her eye.. and she said.. "WOW! I've GOT to lift that! what an idea!!!" i was blown away.
so, miss Stacy.. if you're reading... you touched my life. i was a lurker on your blog. but I'm now coming out of the closet. i am a full fledged stalker. hehehehe kidding. i just want you to know how amazing i think your perspective is and you've become a wonderful role model for me. i told my girlfriends that very weekend.. that I WILL work for you someday. it's inevitable. i will leave my wonderful career behind to come work for Simple ANY DAY!!! heck, I'd even do it part time, in addition to my FT gig! you just ROCKED my world that much.
so.. a huge, heartfelt thank you to you and your class. my spirits have been lifted when i needed it most and my mind will not stop spinning with amazing ideas. I've been writing notes and drawing sketches DAILY now. (good way to kill time on boring conference calls) i really do hope you teach this class again somewhere that i can attend. what do i have to do to get you to MY LSS???????????
so faithful readers (what, do i have like 5?) TRUST ME. i will be preachin the Finish Line Gospel.
and you will never look back!
It all began in February. the pre-registration for CKC Buffalo. i had been the year before. still considering myself a newbie. i wasn't excited to see the "celebs".. couldn't pick most of them out from the crowd. this year... I'm an old-timer. deep in the trenches of supply hoarding and the like. come on.. you ALL know what i mean. don't deny it. you do it to. and i follow the "celebs" daily. yes, i have coffee with Ali, Cathy, Donna, Heidi, Stacy, Tara... in that order, since i have my favorites alphabetized. i feel like i know them. i post comments, most times. but i feel like a stalker. but then i realize, you know what? these are just normal people. just like me. they blog. i blog. they create. i create. i have musician love affairs in my head. so does CZ. hey, it's a common thread. if we lived near each other.. they would WANT to be my friends... hahahaha, I'm just that cool!
all kidding and smartassedness aside. this weekend, while at CKC.. i fell in love. i fell hard. i took Stacy Julian's class, "Finish Line Scrapbooking". all i can say is.. wow. that woman. she. amazed. me. period. i was in such a good place mentally and so happy to be at that convention, which left my mind open and ready to soak up any new knowledge like a sponge. and i did. i had bought Stacy's book a while back.. and i just wasn't getting it. you see, i am the type of learner that has to read it, do it, see it done, and talk about it. and that's when i get it. the personal touch she gave to each one of us in class was amazing.
she began by telling me how cute my purse was... of course.. it's an elisalou.. and then when class began... she came over, sifted through my pictures.. and she got it. right away. she got it. she teared up.. she had me bawling. just by looking at the pictures, no lo's, no journaling, she got what i was saying through my pictures. that just rocked. i then began her process and felt so friggin refreshed. like i was given a new lease on scrapping. permission to just let go.and i did. and i DID trust her. she then came back and looked at me completely lo's and told me i was really getting it. and one caught her eye.. and she said.. "WOW! I've GOT to lift that! what an idea!!!" i was blown away.
so, miss Stacy.. if you're reading... you touched my life. i was a lurker on your blog. but I'm now coming out of the closet. i am a full fledged stalker. hehehehe kidding. i just want you to know how amazing i think your perspective is and you've become a wonderful role model for me. i told my girlfriends that very weekend.. that I WILL work for you someday. it's inevitable. i will leave my wonderful career behind to come work for Simple ANY DAY!!! heck, I'd even do it part time, in addition to my FT gig! you just ROCKED my world that much.
so.. a huge, heartfelt thank you to you and your class. my spirits have been lifted when i needed it most and my mind will not stop spinning with amazing ideas. I've been writing notes and drawing sketches DAILY now. (good way to kill time on boring conference calls) i really do hope you teach this class again somewhere that i can attend. what do i have to do to get you to MY LSS???????????
so faithful readers (what, do i have like 5?) TRUST ME. i will be preachin the Finish Line Gospel.
TRUST ME. AND DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO.
and you will never look back!
5.29.2007
i got me some mojo...
creative that is. i had cleaned my studio over the holiday weekend... and can you say WOW??? i can find things i didn't know i had. i think i could open a scrapbook store in my home with my stash! phew.i am preparing to head to CKC this weekend and want to enter a couple of contests. so i've been scrappalappin.created two pretty decent LO's.. just don't know if they are contest worthy or not. who knows these days, anyhow...
life is pretty good around these parts these days, considering we are pretty destitute. somehow, we really DO find joy in the little things. i am reminded recently of a little challenge Ali Edwards had on her blog the beginning of the year. it was to choose a word for the year. i couldn't narrow it down to just one.. so i chose a motto if you will. create everyday, play hard, live simply. i have not been doing these things.
so let me tell you.. i've shifted my focus and am paying attention to these six little words that can mean so much in my life. i lived simply today while working by staying focused, not getting sidetracked with online chit chat and i got a TON accomplished. i played hard with kennedy after work today... i'm talking hiccup filled tickle fest, complete with her climbing all over me and such. i then created last night and tonight. it feels good. a little soul cleansing.
that's about it for now. it's now officially wednesday... 12:22 am.. which means in 16 hours, i will be on vacation for the next FOUR GLORIOUS SCRAPPY DAYS!!! i think the smell of paper and adhesive is going to make me high as a kite.. and i can't wait for that sort of high! it's cheaper and less mind altering!
how will you spend the rest of your week?
ciao!
life is pretty good around these parts these days, considering we are pretty destitute. somehow, we really DO find joy in the little things. i am reminded recently of a little challenge Ali Edwards had on her blog the beginning of the year. it was to choose a word for the year. i couldn't narrow it down to just one.. so i chose a motto if you will. create everyday, play hard, live simply. i have not been doing these things.
so let me tell you.. i've shifted my focus and am paying attention to these six little words that can mean so much in my life. i lived simply today while working by staying focused, not getting sidetracked with online chit chat and i got a TON accomplished. i played hard with kennedy after work today... i'm talking hiccup filled tickle fest, complete with her climbing all over me and such. i then created last night and tonight. it feels good. a little soul cleansing.
that's about it for now. it's now officially wednesday... 12:22 am.. which means in 16 hours, i will be on vacation for the next FOUR GLORIOUS SCRAPPY DAYS!!! i think the smell of paper and adhesive is going to make me high as a kite.. and i can't wait for that sort of high! it's cheaper and less mind altering!
how will you spend the rest of your week?
ciao!
5.26.2007
MY VERY OWN PRIVATE IDOL...
Please take a moment to read the message below from one of my oldest, dearest friends. He REALLY IS a big deal! AND.. he's soon to release his newest album... the one that WILL bring him mainstream. I KNOW IT. so read below, go to the website and VOTE VOTE VOTE for his song. Post a link on your blog, message board, website... spread the word people!!!! Pay it forward! This man has done a world of good in my heart and my life... it's the least I can do for him!
ROCK ON!!! And thanks...
From Ron Irizarry.....
My Dear Friends:
Thanks so much for the overwhelming response that I've received through emails from those of you who have expressed to me that you have voted for my new song, "I STILL FEEL FOR YOU". I want to tell you how much it means to me that you have taken the time out of your day to do so. I've just partnered with CC MANAGEMENT & DEVELOPMENT, INC a really amazing company that helps further independent artist here in Central Florida, to help make a larger voting presence, & have launched the "VOTE & PASS IT ON CAMPAIGN". For those of you who have voted and have been spreading the word, thank you! For those who have not I would appreciate your support to do so. Either way, I ask for your support to pass the word along as all the information is below. Thanks again & none of this would be possible without YOU! Let's spread this thing like a wildfire!Much love, Ron Irizarry
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEMAY 26, 2007 RON IRIZARRY ALONG WITH CC MANAGEMENT & DEVELOPMENT, INC ANNOUNCE THE LAUNCH OF THE "VOTE & PASS IT ON CAMPAIGN"
RON IRIZARRY'S NEW SONG "I STILL FEEL FOR YOU" WAS RECENTLY HAND PICKED TO BE FEATURED ON 102.7 KIIS FM JOJO ON THE RADIO'S NEW MUSIC ALERT!WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT TO MAKE AN OVERWHELMING PRESENCE IN VOTES FOR RON'S NEW SONG!
PLEASE SHOW YOUR SUPPORT BY VOTING & PASSING IT ON. IT'LL ONLY TAKE 3 MINUTES OF YOUR TIME. REPOST THE EVENT, BULLETIN THE EVENT, BLOG THE EVENT, FORWARD THE MESSAGE, POST ON MESSAGE BOARDS, TEXT YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY, COMMENT YOUR FRIENDS, COMMENT YOUR FRIEND'S FRIENDS! PASS THE WORD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY, & MUSIC FANS TO PASS THE WORD TO THEIR FRIENDS, FAMILY, & MUSIC FANS! ANY HELP IN ANY WAY IS GREATLY APPRECIATED!
THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!
VOTE & PASS IT ON!!!
VOTE FOR "I STILL FEEL FOR YOU" BY RON IRIZARRY FOR 102.7 KISS-FM JOJO'S NEW MUSIC ALERT BY CLICKING ON THE LINK BELOW AND VOTING FOR THE SONG!
PLEASE VISIT:
http://www.kiisfm.com/pages/jojoontheradio.html
http://www.ronmusic.com/
ROCK ON!!! And thanks...
From Ron Irizarry.....
My Dear Friends:
Thanks so much for the overwhelming response that I've received through emails from those of you who have expressed to me that you have voted for my new song, "I STILL FEEL FOR YOU". I want to tell you how much it means to me that you have taken the time out of your day to do so. I've just partnered with CC MANAGEMENT & DEVELOPMENT, INC a really amazing company that helps further independent artist here in Central Florida, to help make a larger voting presence, & have launched the "VOTE & PASS IT ON CAMPAIGN". For those of you who have voted and have been spreading the word, thank you! For those who have not I would appreciate your support to do so. Either way, I ask for your support to pass the word along as all the information is below. Thanks again & none of this would be possible without YOU! Let's spread this thing like a wildfire!Much love, Ron Irizarry
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEMAY 26, 2007 RON IRIZARRY ALONG WITH CC MANAGEMENT & DEVELOPMENT, INC ANNOUNCE THE LAUNCH OF THE "VOTE & PASS IT ON CAMPAIGN"
RON IRIZARRY'S NEW SONG "I STILL FEEL FOR YOU" WAS RECENTLY HAND PICKED TO BE FEATURED ON 102.7 KIIS FM JOJO ON THE RADIO'S NEW MUSIC ALERT!WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT TO MAKE AN OVERWHELMING PRESENCE IN VOTES FOR RON'S NEW SONG!
PLEASE SHOW YOUR SUPPORT BY VOTING & PASSING IT ON. IT'LL ONLY TAKE 3 MINUTES OF YOUR TIME. REPOST THE EVENT, BULLETIN THE EVENT, BLOG THE EVENT, FORWARD THE MESSAGE, POST ON MESSAGE BOARDS, TEXT YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY, COMMENT YOUR FRIENDS, COMMENT YOUR FRIEND'S FRIENDS! PASS THE WORD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY, & MUSIC FANS TO PASS THE WORD TO THEIR FRIENDS, FAMILY, & MUSIC FANS! ANY HELP IN ANY WAY IS GREATLY APPRECIATED!
THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!
VOTE & PASS IT ON!!!
VOTE FOR "I STILL FEEL FOR YOU" BY RON IRIZARRY FOR 102.7 KISS-FM JOJO'S NEW MUSIC ALERT BY CLICKING ON THE LINK BELOW AND VOTING FOR THE SONG!
PLEASE VISIT:
http://www.kiisfm.com/pages/jojoontheradio.html
http://www.ronmusic.com/
5.21.2007
on being one year closer to my scary age
so, today is the day. the day i came into this world. 34 years ago. this means to me, that i am 12 months closer to my current scary age of 35. i don't know why. first it was 21. then 25. now 35. hmmm.
anyhow, it started of without a bang. no good morning happy birthday wishes until about 45 minutes into my day. typical. i would think after several years of no more fanfare on my birthday, i'd be used to it. SOOO not the case.
you see, birthdays in my life, have always been a national holiday. i don't buy this shit, "you're older now, you don't get cake anymore..." i just don't. if i wasn't born, think of all the things that wouldn't have happened. all the changes i've made would never have taken place. now, i'm not tooting my horn saying i'm so damned awesome, i've changed the world... but hell, i certainly DO know i've made one hell of an impact. those that know me... understand this. whether it be good or bad. i've made an impact. therefore, it should be celebrated, damnit!
anyhow. i will go about my day. and my best friend said it best... i have to be in control of what i want to see happen. so if i have to drive out to the damn purple hippo and buy my own damn cake! so be it!!! because you know what???
the end.
anyhow, it started of without a bang. no good morning happy birthday wishes until about 45 minutes into my day. typical. i would think after several years of no more fanfare on my birthday, i'd be used to it. SOOO not the case.
you see, birthdays in my life, have always been a national holiday. i don't buy this shit, "you're older now, you don't get cake anymore..." i just don't. if i wasn't born, think of all the things that wouldn't have happened. all the changes i've made would never have taken place. now, i'm not tooting my horn saying i'm so damned awesome, i've changed the world... but hell, i certainly DO know i've made one hell of an impact. those that know me... understand this. whether it be good or bad. i've made an impact. therefore, it should be celebrated, damnit!
anyhow. i will go about my day. and my best friend said it best... i have to be in control of what i want to see happen. so if i have to drive out to the damn purple hippo and buy my own damn cake! so be it!!! because you know what???
"YOUUUUUU CAN EEEAAAATTTT CAKEEEEEEE!!!!"
HAPPY FRIGGIN BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
the end.
5.12.2007
saturday stuff
phew. what a busy day. cleaned the bathroom. did loads and loads and loads, and did i say loads of laundry? LOADS. did dishes. at least three times. can someone in my next life, please get me a dishwasher? i have not had one in six years, people. my hands are aging at a rapid warp like speed. i baked a birthday cake for my girl. was too too cute. pink pink and more pink. we took it over to my brother's house and did the happy birthday thing. kennedy was SO excited to blow out the candles, she had to blow out ALL of Auntie Amy's candles she had lit all over the house. it was too cute. she LOVED the whole thing. the cake, the candles. it was priceless. of course i snapped almost an entire roll of film. then we played outside for a bit, did the snuggie on the sofa tonight, and... she sleeps.... ahhhh. back to the basement. more laundry to finish and i am going to start packing for my trip. and i am SO wanting to make an ugly doll... i picked up some funky trims and lace tonight at wal mart... can't beat 10 cents a yard for some of it! i am seriously going to take like an hour and rummage through the trim section... 10 cents to 2 bucks a yard for some gooood trims! man i love dumpster divin the fabric dept at wally world!
ok, to the basement. hope everyone had a splendiforous saturday!
ciao!
ok, to the basement. hope everyone had a splendiforous saturday!
ciao!
5.11.2007
AND SHE TURNS TWO. TWO.DAY...
WOW. i mean really. just. wow. TWO years. two years ago, today, i was getting dressed in my overly sized, gi-normous cozy pink maternity sweats, a comfy top, that barely had enough cotton and lycra to cover my ever expanding by the minute belly, making sure all the new mommy items were packed in THEE bag, having my "final" meal of junky, fat laden, fast food, and driving over the river and through the woods, to community general hospital we go. wow. i was getting ready to go have a baby. ME. who just 18 months prior, never thought getting pregnant was even a remote possibility. (2 years, no protection, EVER. yeah, didn't think it was in the cards.) amazing what having a sick and twisted and defective thyroid removed from your body can do to your fertility karma!!!
i can still recall her BIRTH day like it was yesterday. i was spoiled. though i got to experience the joy of pregnancy, i can't say i got to experience the joy.. wait, excruciating pain, of labor. i was HUGE. and i don't mean i gained too much weight with said baby. i mean my belly was HUGE. unnaturally huge. so, because i am a big girl to begin with, the dr and midwife naturally assumed we would have gestational diabetes. no, no one believed Gary, my lovely sonographer who at week 30, i got to see once a week.. that said baby.. was HUGE. doc kept saying, he's usually over estimates to be on the safe side. nope. not this time.
so, we check in, at 1:00pm. get settled into our suite. (community is like the Ritz Carlton of birthing wards) i get comfy. i had a scheduled induction on the 10th. they didn't want me to go past said due date, due to said, big belly. they begin the induction. that natural hippy suppository stuff. yeah. whatever. apparently, i go into labor. or so the fetal monitor tells the nurses. i am uncomfortable. i feel like i have gas. they ask.. "honey, you're sure you don't feel these? they look pretty strong." Nope, not me! Can i have a diet coke? hahaha
so, they slip me a pregnancy safe mickey, to help me sleep. yeah. i think they slipped it to the husband as he slept juuuuust fine. i on the other hand tossed and turned and had leg cramps all night. husband SNORED enough to rattle the floor! the day goes on... NOW mind you... because i am high risk and chance for a c-section, they're not letting me eat much. i finally send the husband out for some contraband. spicy chicken sandwich from wendy's and a fruit bowl. while he's gone... it's about 4pm on the 11th... the doc comes for a visit. so, 23 hours and no aggressive labor, no dilation, nothing. we talk about pitocin. i told him he was on drugs and that he was going to take this baby. i was exhausted and there was no way in HELL i was going to push said large baby out of my crotch. no way in HELL. he said at this point, it was up to me, and if i wanted a c-section, i could have one. but would have to wait until 8:00pm. he asked if i had eaten? i told him i had a banana and a snickers bar at 3:00...it was really right before he walked in, and i lied, since i knew there had to be an 5 hour span between food and surgery. apparently, my banana and snicker bar were the topic of laughter with the docs and nurses during their meetings that night. no chicken sandwich. damn.
finally. surgery. get all suited up. epidural. check. hubby comes in. check. surgery begins. doc and nurses are crackin up, having a good ol time. teasing me. joking with us. doc begins to pull out said large baby. he exclaims... "so glad you talked me into this c-section.. no WAY you could have pushed out these shoulders." they pull her, and pull her, and pull her.. then it all gets very quiet..."i ask what's wrong..." doc states she's very dark skinned..." my hubby and i, in unison... "i'm a 1/4 indian" "he's a 1/4 indian!!!" huge amounts of laughter, and then a cry. the most beautiful sound i have ever heard my entire life. and she just stopped. just like that. she was here. AND THEN... I WAS MOMMA. and yeah, said baby big? said baby girl was 10lbs 9 ounces and 22 inches long. TODDLER sized. HUGE!!!
fast forward two years. thee most amazing child. not only brilliant, but the most empathetic two year old i have ever known. has manners, says, yes please, no thank you,always asking if you are okay, do you feel better... i mean just amazing. gorgeous. the biggest brown eyes that can just soak you in forever. a sweet sweet smile that causes her entire face to smile.. and dimples? too sweet. she's got rhythm, and constant song in her heart, and is destined to do great things. she is wise beyond her years. her senses are keen and her wit is already sharp. at two.
wow. i am amazed i have done this. that i am doing this. what an amazing way to spend mother's day. celebrating the birth of my child... and honoring the fact that i am now a momma. this ride is more than i could have ever asked for. can't wait to see what happens in the third year.
i love you baby girl...
i can still recall her BIRTH day like it was yesterday. i was spoiled. though i got to experience the joy of pregnancy, i can't say i got to experience the joy.. wait, excruciating pain, of labor. i was HUGE. and i don't mean i gained too much weight with said baby. i mean my belly was HUGE. unnaturally huge. so, because i am a big girl to begin with, the dr and midwife naturally assumed we would have gestational diabetes. no, no one believed Gary, my lovely sonographer who at week 30, i got to see once a week.. that said baby.. was HUGE. doc kept saying, he's usually over estimates to be on the safe side. nope. not this time.
so, we check in, at 1:00pm. get settled into our suite. (community is like the Ritz Carlton of birthing wards) i get comfy. i had a scheduled induction on the 10th. they didn't want me to go past said due date, due to said, big belly. they begin the induction. that natural hippy suppository stuff. yeah. whatever. apparently, i go into labor. or so the fetal monitor tells the nurses. i am uncomfortable. i feel like i have gas. they ask.. "honey, you're sure you don't feel these? they look pretty strong." Nope, not me! Can i have a diet coke? hahaha
so, they slip me a pregnancy safe mickey, to help me sleep. yeah. i think they slipped it to the husband as he slept juuuuust fine. i on the other hand tossed and turned and had leg cramps all night. husband SNORED enough to rattle the floor! the day goes on... NOW mind you... because i am high risk and chance for a c-section, they're not letting me eat much. i finally send the husband out for some contraband. spicy chicken sandwich from wendy's and a fruit bowl. while he's gone... it's about 4pm on the 11th... the doc comes for a visit. so, 23 hours and no aggressive labor, no dilation, nothing. we talk about pitocin. i told him he was on drugs and that he was going to take this baby. i was exhausted and there was no way in HELL i was going to push said large baby out of my crotch. no way in HELL. he said at this point, it was up to me, and if i wanted a c-section, i could have one. but would have to wait until 8:00pm. he asked if i had eaten? i told him i had a banana and a snickers bar at 3:00...it was really right before he walked in, and i lied, since i knew there had to be an 5 hour span between food and surgery. apparently, my banana and snicker bar were the topic of laughter with the docs and nurses during their meetings that night. no chicken sandwich. damn.
finally. surgery. get all suited up. epidural. check. hubby comes in. check. surgery begins. doc and nurses are crackin up, having a good ol time. teasing me. joking with us. doc begins to pull out said large baby. he exclaims... "so glad you talked me into this c-section.. no WAY you could have pushed out these shoulders." they pull her, and pull her, and pull her.. then it all gets very quiet..."i ask what's wrong..." doc states she's very dark skinned..." my hubby and i, in unison... "i'm a 1/4 indian" "he's a 1/4 indian!!!" huge amounts of laughter, and then a cry. the most beautiful sound i have ever heard my entire life. and she just stopped. just like that. she was here. AND THEN... I WAS MOMMA. and yeah, said baby big? said baby girl was 10lbs 9 ounces and 22 inches long. TODDLER sized. HUGE!!!
fast forward two years. thee most amazing child. not only brilliant, but the most empathetic two year old i have ever known. has manners, says, yes please, no thank you,always asking if you are okay, do you feel better... i mean just amazing. gorgeous. the biggest brown eyes that can just soak you in forever. a sweet sweet smile that causes her entire face to smile.. and dimples? too sweet. she's got rhythm, and constant song in her heart, and is destined to do great things. she is wise beyond her years. her senses are keen and her wit is already sharp. at two.
wow. i am amazed i have done this. that i am doing this. what an amazing way to spend mother's day. celebrating the birth of my child... and honoring the fact that i am now a momma. this ride is more than i could have ever asked for. can't wait to see what happens in the third year.
i love you baby girl...
5.08.2007
NEW MOM = MORON AT THE PARK
so, one would think, after two years of this.. i'd have mastered the whole take kennedy to the park thing? not so much! see the timing of her birth.. she's a May baby... on her first birthday, she still wasn't walking, so we never took her that summer. by the time she began to walk, it was too cold. the winters, she didn't get to play outside too much.. especially this one.. too cold... (or we are too paranoid, i'll go with the latter) so i have a day off today. i take her to the park. there are some WILD children running around. and quite honestly, they freaked her out! they freaked me out too.. this being the wild part. growling at her, crouching in her face and telling her to hurry up... and the parents just looking on, laughing. wow. i mean, am i wrong to think that was inappropriate? i really think it was. but i still consider myself new at this. this whole parenting thing.
so, instead, we walked a little. she wanted to see the "ocean" aka the polluted lake of onondaga county, then we did the swings. then a preschool showed up.. with teachers who barely spoke english... momma high-tailed it right out of there. so is it me just being a new mom and wanting to constantly protect my girl from rude, incorrigible little children, or am i being paranoid? i need to socialize the poor child, but am scared to death to let children be mean to her! oi vay.. the joys of parenthood!!!
so, instead, we walked a little. she wanted to see the "ocean" aka the polluted lake of onondaga county, then we did the swings. then a preschool showed up.. with teachers who barely spoke english... momma high-tailed it right out of there. so is it me just being a new mom and wanting to constantly protect my girl from rude, incorrigible little children, or am i being paranoid? i need to socialize the poor child, but am scared to death to let children be mean to her! oi vay.. the joys of parenthood!!!
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