VALIDATION

such a strong word if you really delve deep into the meaning of it. why is it, so few people in your life are capable of validating? it should be a skill taught to our youth. a common courtesy - like saying please or thank you.

one of my very dear and loved friends talked to me about this last night. and he was so spot on. this little blurb from wikipedia really hits it on the head:

"In psychology and human communication, validation is the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other's opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard, and (regardless whether or not the listener actually agrees with the content), they are being treated with genuine respect as a legitimate expression of their feelings, rather than marginalized or dismissed."

this reminded me of a theory I once realized in my dark and gloomy twenties - there are people that talk. there are people that listen. there are people that simply wait to talk. you don't ever want to be that person. the person that waits to talk is so self involved they don't have the time or right to listen to you talk. a perfect combination is the person that can listen, validate, and talk. point blank. that is who you want you "person" to be.

i'm pretty fortunate. i've got a few "persons". they get me. they VALIDATE ME. one of those "persons" was in my life as a teen and has recently come back into my life. it's like a breath of fresh air. a renewed sense of self. to know - wow - someone else on this planet really gets me.

so go ahead with your day. but take this with you - the next time you are having a conversation - are you simply waiting to talk? thinking of the next thing to say? or are you there, in the moment, listening, giving your conversation partner validation - respect. now that you've thought about this - you will always be conscious of it with each conversation you have.

happy humpday. now go forth and validate.