WARNING - IF you are offending by my foul language - then don't read further. if you think i'm shit because i don't recycle - really - don't read further. and know i will have another post today - i promise to be uplifting. i just need to get something off my chest....
any reader of my blog - knows - I FIGHT daily for happiness. I usually find it - i have it - it just doesn't come easy. so - then why is it - the world is so f*cking hell bent on pissing me the f@ck off???
there is this asian man. i've named him Mr. Miyagi (he looks like a 100 year old Pat Morita - ok? don't judge me) he rides a bike. all over the friggin county. he collects cans. wait let me rephrase that for you - HE DIGS THROUGH MY F*CKING GARBAGE - WITH NO GLOVES LOOKING FOR CANS!!! he looks homeless - but my guess, he's pullin in about 50K a year digging through shit for cans. he barely speaks english. i have lived here almost three years. i would have figured by now - that when i politely tell him NO CANS! and then scream at him - GET OUT OF MY F*CKING GARBAGE... he'd get a clue. apparently - this is SOOO not the case. i caught him digging TWICE today. TWICE. I told him no - i left - he waited for me to get around the corner - he went back... i ripped down the street like a madwoman and rolled down my window and said "SIR - NO CANS - GET OUT OF MY GARBAGE PLEASE! NO MORE! EVER! GOOOOO!!!!!"
my neighbor tells me i should politely put my cans in a seperate bag and leave them for him. if was going to go through all that trouble - i'd take the damn cans back to the redemption center myself. i know - i should recycle them. don't start bitching at me about that. it's a habit. a BAD one! I can't be bothered with cans.
so stay the f*ck out of my garbage and respect my damn privacy. anyone heard of the sarbanes oxley act?
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6 comments:
LOL! Speaking of habits like Fancy Simple this week, I have a terrible habit of being a potty mouth. So you go on with your swearing! If I wasn't a teacher and if my blog was password protected I would seriously let the expletives fly. Throw a few in for me, too!
I'm sorry...that must be incredibly frustrating. But, seriously...you cracked me up! LOL!
I can relate to this story. We have an older (ok, ancient) woman who visits our neighborhood on garbage night searching for cans too. She wears a loooong skirt, a kerchief on her head and is slightly hunched over. She's kinda creepy in a way, but she doesn't find much here, we rarely have cans.
You'd have me rolling if it wasn't bedtime and my momma wasn't sleeping on the couch in the same room. But, seriously, I'd be wicked annoyed, too. BTW, I love your blog. I'd read it everyday if I had 10 free minutes EVER at the computer. ;)
You go girlfriend.... Next time throw a can at him... Whoops may be you shouldn't do that.. How about a big sign that says... Beware of man eating rats.. Will that work?????
lol. This post had me rolling. We have a man who digs in our trash at work. bare handed. I know what kinda stuff is in that trash. Eww!
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