sweet sixteen.

and no... i'm not talking basketball brackets or even a birthday. i'm talkin pants, ladies and gentlemen. pants. the last time my a$$ saw a size 16 was about 10 years ago. TEN YEARS. now i've not lost a whole lot of weight (about 40 pounds now) but holy crap. that's 4 sizes smaller for me. i was running anywhere from a 20 to 22... ssshhhhhhh! could never shop in misses. was forced to "womens" or the lame giant... i wanted to scream in the dressing room. i simply grabbed a 16 to see how much more i had to go. i put one leg in. pulled them up a bit, realized the other leg would also fit - and then they were up. on my hips. and zipped. without lying down to do it! holy CRAP-A-NOLIE! i am really losing weight. i don't so much care about a number i want to weigh. it's all about how i feel. my first goal was lofty - i wanted to weigh less than my husband. i now do! he's got about 7 pounds on me! my next goal, was to go down a pant size. holy crap! done that, too. now - my next small goal... get below 220. that's all. i'm oh so close. so that will be a piece of cake.

while i hope i'm not sounding boastful - i'm just sharing. i want everyone to join me. everyone who's struggling. i've become a distributor for Herbalife. this was simply so that i could get a discount, but hell, now you can buy from me and join me on this weight loss journey. i have another goal. when i am below 220, i plan to start moving my body. i want to start up a fitness challenge... not sure of how i'm going to do this yet... but stay tuned. and join me would ya? email me for more details... shelleymay@att.net

be good folks - and have a fabulous weekend!


american honey

so - my daughter is a bit of a music junkie. at not-quite-five - her music tastes range anywhere from john mayer, regina spektor, to lady antebellum. i always thought the voice of a child was something to hear. something special, even when off key and singing from their toes, i always thought it was beautiful. until i realized my daughter could really, actually sing. it's magical. it takes my breath away, often moving me to tears. she has a freakish knack for memorizing song lyrics just like her momma. she keeps beat and rhythm. she can point out specific instruments in a song, and she doesn't even really know how to play one yet.

now, i like to somehow take credit for this on occasion as i sang to her while i was pregnant. a LOT. yet i am not a very good singer. i was the girl always cast in the non-singing lead roles in the musicals. could not ever carry a tune. yet - i sing like it's nobody's business. i'm a rock star. in the car. and in the house when no one is home. we have music playing each and every night still, when kennedy goes to bed. it's always on in the car.

i digress. the girl can sing. as i hear her belting things out from the backseat, i often notice lyrics floating up into my mind. this one recent fav of hers is american honey, by lady antebellum. she sings of "she grew up slow, she grew up goooood, like american honey." this resonated inside me tonight in a way it hadn't yet. it made me remember, be present. enjoy each little bit. allow her to grow up slow. don't let her get big too fast. she kept telling us at dinner tonight that she knew how to behave like a lady at a restaurant, because she was a big girl. and big girls can do whatever they want. slow down. be present. grow up slow. grow up good, sweet girl.

as things are finally beginning to shift in my life, i'm realizing more and more of the little things. the slow parts. taking it all in. letting it float around and savoring it like honey. i just need to remember now, slow down. be present. happiness just comes. it's not forced anymore. i will never forget something a high school sweetheart wrote to me many, many years ago - "i am beginning to thaw."

be present. be happy. and slow it down. like american honey.


refreshed. renewed.

so - cliche as it sounds, dusting the ole blog off. facebook updates just aren't cutting it for me these days, and i feel the need to shout from the rooftops how incredibly awesome i am feeling these days.

i have this friend. lance. i used to work for his sister, heather. she's one of my best friends. my husband used to work for lance. we've all been friends for a very, very long time. as long as i've known lance, he's been a big guy. his whole family has struggled with their weight as long as i've known them. heather and i used to do weight watchers together. i lost almost 60 pounds on ww many years ago. fast. little did i know, at the time, i had grave's disease. quick weight loss was a side affect. i was just helping it along a little. life moved on, i got married, and the weight just kept on coming. i had thyroid removed, and the weight was even harder to lose. then pregnancy, then one health issue after another, the weight just stuck around. and packed on.

i've not felt good for years. meaning, miserable, depressed, out of breath... just plain fat. i was fat. and i was in denial. now, let me set you straight - i was not the binge, overeat kid of fat. i was the - i live a totally sedentary lifestyle and made really bad choices kind of fat. i have never been one to really eat in excess. i'm just a girl who knows a good scone and piece of cake! don't forget the french fries... oh and for the love of chips and dip.

i digress. lance. and his wife marlene.

i'd friended lance on facebook. i'd noticed lance started working out. i thought, wow - good for lance! then i'd noticed lance was really losing some weight. then he started shouting from the rooftops. so i got nosey. i emailed and asked him what he was doing. simple. herbalife. i'd heard about it before, i thought - ugh - another diet.. pills and shakes. blech. i doubted. i thought it had to taste bad and was probably overpriced. he pointed me in the direction of his wife, marlene. she assured me the smoothies were fabulous and tasted wonderful. so i said, heck - i've got nothing in the world to lose but some of my ass! :) so i ordered.

i visited lance and marlene's site. i ordered the 3-2-1 weight loss management which consists of smoothie mix, a multi-vitamin, and a cell activator. all natural. all vitamins. this was exactly three weeks ago. i have lost 11 pounds. ELEVEN! I have lost a total of about 37 pounds since December - as i got a jump start being sick over the holidays! i am on air! seriously. i can't imagine putting this weight back on. let me tell you a few of the things i've noticed... and this is no exaggeration:
  • i'm smaller. i am already down a whole size in clothing
  • i have energy. like the i can barely sit still long enough to blog kind of energy
  • the whites of my eyes look whiter
  • my hair is growing
  • my nails are growing
  • my skin has color back to it. i no longer look like a vampire
  • the circles under my eyes are gone
  • the blue in my eyes looks blue-er
  • did i mention i have energy?
  • i am tired at the end of the day (contemplating stopping the ambien)
  • i feel rested in the morning
  • i am genuinely happier. without trying
  • i find it easier to make better food choices
  • shitty food upsets my stomach. quickly
  • my skins feels better
  • i am taking things in stride (this never happens)

all in all, i hit bottom. i needed a shift in my life. the last time i remember weighing in at the doc, i was 267 pounds. there. i said it outloud. 267. sickening. this was in october, novemeber, and then again in december. and i denied it. never. again.

i will be checking in here, keeping it real, keeping it honest. i'm interested to have some folks on the journey with me. even going to become a distributor for herbalife. why not, right? the truth is in my waist line. and according to my daughter, kennedy: i'm gonna be one hot momma.

be happy.