any reader of my blog - knows - I FIGHT daily for happiness. I usually find it - i have it - it just doesn't come easy. so - then why is it - the world is so f*cking hell bent on pissing me the f@ck off???
there is this asian man. i've named him Mr. Miyagi (he looks like a 100 year old Pat Morita - ok? don't judge me) he rides a bike. all over the friggin county. he collects cans. wait let me rephrase that for you - HE DIGS THROUGH MY F*CKING GARBAGE - WITH NO GLOVES LOOKING FOR CANS!!! he looks homeless - but my guess, he's pullin in about 50K a year digging through shit for cans. he barely speaks english. i have lived here almost three years. i would have figured by now - that when i politely tell him NO CANS! and then scream at him - GET OUT OF MY F*CKING GARBAGE... he'd get a clue. apparently - this is SOOO not the case. i caught him digging TWICE today. TWICE. I told him no - i left - he waited for me to get around the corner - he went back... i ripped down the street like a madwoman and rolled down my window and said "SIR - NO CANS - GET OUT OF MY GARBAGE PLEASE! NO MORE! EVER! GOOOOO!!!!!"
my neighbor tells me i should politely put my cans in a seperate bag and leave them for him. if was going to go through all that trouble - i'd take the damn cans back to the redemption center myself. i know - i should recycle them. don't start bitching at me about that. it's a habit. a BAD one! I can't be bothered with cans.
so stay the f*ck out of my garbage and respect my damn privacy. anyone heard of the sarbanes oxley act?
(and I apologize for the crappy post layout... i STILL don't know how to post photos and put them where I want them to show up on the damn post!)
Habit Forming - keeping the kitchen who isn't worthy of the name kitchen CLEAN - becuase this - people - this picture above - THIS is all I have of counterspace. To the left of that - big enough spot to hold my dishdrainer and my Kitchen Aide. I have no room for mess.
but you know what? i do one thing everyday - without fail. i think of it as my endless trips to the water cooler or coffee pot - if i did work in an office - i read blogs. i am addicted. it's sickening. i'm making friends by blogging. it's worse than my very first night of owning a computer and i discovered chat rooms. i went to work the following day - hung over. without the alcohol. hung over because i chatted away in singles chat rooms until 4:oo in the morning. pitiful single existence i had for a short time in my life. pitiful.
now - i read blogs. i have non-tangible friends. some i am "open" with. some i stalk. but there is one - i won't miss on an everyday basis. and while it sounds like stalker status - it's really not. we email occassionally - on topics i find of interest on her blog - and truly she is a woman i would be honored to call my friend if we really lived closer. and we'd do lunch - and coffee. www.aliedwards.typepad.com she just plain rocks. she lifts me up - she makes me think. she makes me want to be a better friend, wife, mother, artist. she probably thinks i'm a fruitcake. like some crazy groupie fan. but honestly - she's just good people. and i like to surround myself with good people.
so , while most of you head into work, (you know the routine. you get to work, settle in at your desk and then head to the coffee pot, lunch room - where ever people tend to conglomerate in the AM trying to find some steam to push them through the day) - i sit here, hair disheveled, still in my jammies, having just dropped K off at the sitter who lives behind me, checking my email, reading my blogs, making to do lists... trying to find my steam. and Ali's "cubicle" is always the first one i hit. it's coincidence that i have my favs organzied alphabetically and she shows up first - but it's a happy coincidence.
now if she'd only stop by my blog someday.... leave me a comment or two. i'd just totally dig that.
now tomorrow - i want to see how many times i can fit the word habitually into my sentences... hahahaha
MELONIE - I KNOW you are out there... you NEED to play along with the www.fancysimple.blogspot.com challenges!! COME ON!!! hehehe
happy almost weekending - chics!!!
What's your morning routine? a constant mad rush to nowhere fast...
What's your bedtime routine? i wish i could sleep - i wish i could sleep - there is NO routine here
What's missing from your daily routine? a FRIGGIN ROUTINE IS MISSING!!!
What is a habit you're working hard to develop? do you see a trend here? A ROUTINE!!!
What is a habit you're working hard to break? lack of motivation
At your favorite restaurant, do you always order the same thing or do you try the special? i like to change it up a bit - but not often
What things do you buy at the grocery store every single time you go? it's almost always the same - salad bags, bananas, apples, carrots - EVERYTIME - soda & juice - EVERYTIME - and then of course milk, bread, waffles, 3 strip steaks...EVERYTIME
What would someone close to you say is your most annoying habit? my husband would say my constant glass is half empty philosphy... coworkers would say my glass is half full philosophy, my best friend would say my habitual purchases of paper crafting magazines and then wanting to talk about it with her!!! :)
Which outside forces have the biggest impact on your routines? the weather and my depression - i live in upstate NY - the two go hand in hand apparently
Describe the person you know who is most driven by habit. my sitter. she has herself, her daughter, and my daughter on such a schedule - it makes perfect sense why my daughter doesn't want to come home half the time!
MAN - this was tough. i'm going to bed. i WILL sleep. I WILL make a list and stick to it tomorrow - and my list WILL include me time. I'm mobile. maybe i will just pack up the laptop and go work at starbucks in the AM and Panera in the afternoon!
7:00am - fall out of bed - run to home office - log on to work intranet - begin checking email, etc... take care of "housekeeping" items for work - create to-do list - TRY to get focused on the day. (this NEVER works anymore.)
7:30am - run downstairs - make coffee - feed dog - walk in circles a few times trying to figure out what to do next - decide what to make Kennedy for breakfast - riddle myself with guilt because i'm not feeding her 100% organic, unprocessed food... get over the guilt twice as fast - because she eats her damn fruits and vegetables like a motha! so there!!! a frozen waffle never killed anyone!!! walk in a few more circles.. wiping sleep from eyes, oh yes, go to the bathroom, walk in more circles, turn on TV
8:00am - the child can SLEEP. go upstairs - gently wake her - she's a BEAR just like me. make sure we get blanky, bunny, guys, farmers, clothes, more guys and go downstairs. often times i'm a sucker and if she asks i will let her "picnic" her breakfast and watch a show. she does not get TV at the sitter - so i don't mind letting her watch a little in the AM... only Sprout or Noggin - that's IT!
8:30am - TRY to get her dressed, comb hair, brush teeth - sometimes a fight - sometimes not. she has to be a diva though - so she's got to get CUTE!
9:00am - out the door - commute to the sitter
9:01am - home. sitter lives behind me.
9:02am - BIG cuppa coffee. commute to office
9:03am - office is upstairs in house. back into email. check voicemails...
9:30am - 4:00pm - this is where it gets chaotic - there is NO structure to my day. I might have 4-6 hours of conference calls in one day - some days none. I work tirelessly on my projects and client setups all day long - often times juggling 4 or 5 clients at a time. all the while i field instant messages from colleagues - either bitching at each other, venting, mentoring, chatting, gossiping...answering phone calls and more emails. i am of the mind set - handle the email immediately and file it away. so i'm checking it all day long. i tried the 9, 12, 3 formula for email - when you work from home - it just doesn't work - looks like you are not accountable... just doesn't work.
4:00pm - pick up the girl - play - watch a show - read books - do crafts - whatever she feels like doing - we do...
5:00pm - begin dinner
6:00pm - eat
7:00 pm - tubby
715pm - to bedtime - which is never the same anymore - we play, do more crafts, color, read stories, play princess/queen/king, sing, dance, watch a movie - whatever!
after K is in bed - i then soak up my time unproductively into this damn internet. i am a horrid insomniac - and often times am up until 1 or 2 in the morning... and then NEVER sleep an entire night through.
in writing this all out - i need help. I am barely making it from monday to tuesday. i melt down - frequently. i lose it. i cry. i simply get up and walk away from my office and wander around downstairs because for the LIFE of me - i cannot find my drive and focus i used to have. makes me wonder if it isn't time for a big life change. i've been with my job 5 years this February - and while i love it and wouldn't change it for the world... i am beginning to really lose my mind. not working in a traditional office environment has it's ups and downs - and i'm certainly in a downer state right now. i need to find a way to get out of this rut. it's like cabin fever 24/7...
so there - and then you will say to yourself - well no WONDER she's effin sick all the time! she doesn't take care of herself!!!
ok ladies - suggestions? tips on better managin my time? bring it!
and MELONIE - I am tagging YOU to play along with me at Fancy Simple - go on over there - join in - tell em Shelley sent ya!!! PWEEEEESE?
I've always been a mouthy - nothing in this world can stop me - kind of girl. until i had this... a family. still - nothing can stop me - but my focus has shifted. i am no longer focused on just my well being. i am humbled everyday. i am grounded. i am stronger. i realize i really can do it all - with only a little patience and perserverance. i can create a human being. i can shape her and help her grow. i can educate her, empower her, love her, hug & kiss her, smile with her, laugh till my head hurts with her, cry with her...just BE with her. that bond is so intense... it often takes my very breath away. being a momma makes me feel powerful - but being a momma to a little girl - makes me truly eat, breath, and sleep the meaning of girl power.
when did you realize YOU had it?
the chicks over at www.fancysimple.blogspot.com have a rockin challenge going on all week. today they want us to list our top fav chick empowering song, book and movie. i am a junkie on all three avenues - so it's tough to choose just one... but here goes:
- SONG - I Got Money Now - by PINK
- BOOK - In Her Shoes by Elizabeth Weiner (love the movie just as much!)
- MOVIE - How Stella Got Her Groove Back - can you say Taye Diggs???
happy thursday chicks! it's almost the WEEKEND!!!!!
And then read my questionaire - copy it - answer it - post it to your blog and drop me a comment and let me know you posted with a link to it. There will be a RAK coming to the 7th person posting on my blog with a link to their blog with this questionaire! :O)
1. Name - Shelley May
2. Pink - Love it or Hate it? LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!
3. Signature shade of lipstick, lipgloss, etc. - these days, Clinique Rootbeer Gloss
4. Do you have a best girl friend? - yes ma'am.
5. Do you have a woman mentor? - sure do! I have a couple...
6. Are you a woman mentor to someone else? - I'd like to think so... but no one's told me.
7. Tomboy or Princess? - see #2 - TOTAL PRINCESS!
8. Favorite Girl Band - lately - tons... Regina Spektor, Ingrid Michelson, Corrine Bailey Rae
9. Are you a mom? -Do you want to be one? - I am - to ONE and DONE.
10. Do you and your mom have any rituals? - not anymore. we live 3000 miles apart
11. Fashion magazines - yea or nay. - not so much anymore
12. Do you have a feel good outfit? - not anymore - nothing fits. and i wear sweats to work!
13. Have you called your grandma or special aunt, or special older lady lately? - wish I had one...
14. Signature Scent? - Lovely
15. Favorite female tv character - Nora from Brothers and Sisters - I hope to be half the mom she is.
16. Favorite place to hang out with gal pals? - anywhere scrappy
17. Did you ever ditch your girl friends to be with a guy? Do you still? - not even once
18. Friend you call when you need a laugh? - Joaney
19. Friend you call when you need a shoulder to cry on? - Joaney - poor Joaney - she gets lots of phone calls
20. Have you reminded your friends of how much they mean to you lately? see 18 & 19 - DAILY
And I am STILL on my bandwagon! Lurkers - come out come out whereever you are!!!
Let me know... and LURKERS... I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE! IT'S RUDE NOT TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF AT A PARTY - DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT????
i found this cause on donorschoose.com and felt it tied to my love of the arts and scrapbooking. this teacher wants enough money to buy a digital camera and printer for her classroom. she wants to record the kids lives of learning! AND - she wants them to write about their photos and record memories! hello! she wants to TEACH THE JOY of scrap arts!!!
so - click on my thermometer at the sidebar - donate a little - donate a lot... just DO IT!
this is my desk. Ron built this for me - inspired by the $1000 desk I wanted from Pottery Barn and the $600 one I wanted from Pier One. $167 in wood, nails, paint, and a plexiglass top - i was in business. it is 3 feet deep x 6 feet long! HUGE!
some musical inspiration for you today. this is one of my best friends all the way back from high school. i've bragged about him before. he truly rocks. truly. he is pure. he is a good man. (he's single ladies!) i have his CD in the car - and when kennedy hears it - she says "momma! ron is in there!!!" too cute!
i have been creating a bit lately. feels good. i love going to bed stained with ink. pure goodness. having the studio clean and organized helps. makes clean up a cinch and not a dread. makes finding things a breeze. again - pure goodness.
i am feeling the funk begin to lift just a little bit. i read an interesting article on despression last night in real simple magazine. i always knew depression affected you physically. i blame it for how i feel physically on most days. i am open about my depression. i have been fighting it since i was about 17. it's old hat. i just wish doctors would tackle it a little more seriously. a little more agressively. get to know their patients a little better - and know that we lie to them. "yeah - i know this feeling is only temporary..." it's a flat out lie. so - here's my plan - i'm going to tell my doctor this - that is when and if he ever decides to call me back.
so - no ranting - not today. today is going to be a good day. period. i wrote it and published it so it must be true, right? so i just look to my friend ron - for inspiration. he has fought much adversity in his life and he always manages to rise above it. in spite of it all.
peace my faithful blogger friends... i feel a give-away coming on.... just because i am in a good mood. and i've got too much crap... i am going to conjure up a contest... or challenge... check back later - but the first challenge? tell your friends... i need more traffic on this bloggity!
All I ask - Dear Lord - please do not allow me to be so rude in my senile, dark, bitter days of life when trying to contact the insurance company because they never pay enough to cover the cost of my medical expenses when I am living on a fixed income of $900 a month having worked full time since i was practically 16 years of age.. making my entire work career aproximately 75 years. Please Lord... there but before the Grace of God go I.
Happy Friday - you sons-a-b&tches! (tee hee - couldn't resist!)
Wikipedia says this:
The word "crap" is old in the English language, one of a group of verbs applied to discarded cast offs, like "residue from renderings" (1490s) or in Shropshire, "dregs of beer or ale", meanings probably extended from Middle English crappe "chaff, or grain that has been trodden underfoot in a barn" (c. 1440s), deriving ultimately from Late Latin crappa, "chaff".
That sums it up beautifully... I feel as though I have been trodden underfoot in an effin barn! (prob. look that way too , today.)
So - sweet blog friends - I leave you with some Mc - Isms... I hope you enjoy this as much as I did! (compliments of www.wikipedia.com)
Happy Grey's Day!
In Grey's Anatomy, the characters coin certain important words that are often used in their dialogue with the prefix "Mc". This trend is known as McLabelling. There have been many instances where they have used McLabelling to describe and highlight certain events or characters:
 Season 1
McBird - The first of the trend used by another intern to describe the patient that George is performing on. (Episode 1: A Hard Day's Night)
McDreamy - The nickname given to Derek Shepherd by Cristina Yang. (Episode 2: The First Cut is the Deepest)
 Season 2
McMarried - Used by George O'Malley to describe Derek Shepherd's marital status. (Episode 1: Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head)
McWhat - said by Izzie after she found out that Derek was married. (Episode 1: Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head)
McDog - The dog shared by Derek and Meredith named Doc. (Episode 16: It's the End of the World)
McLife - the term used by Meredith to describe Addison Montgomery-Shepherd's influence over her life. Addison has Derek and now her dog. (Episode 16: It's the End of the World)
McSexy - a suggestion for a nickname for Mark Sloan when he first arrived to Seattle Grace. (Episode 18: Yesterday)
McYummy - another suggestion for a nickname for Mark Sloan. (Episode 18: Yesterday)
McSteamy - the nickname that Izzy, Meredith and Christina agreed for Mark Sloan. (Episode 18: Yesterday)
McVomit - the term for George's disgust of the new nickname for Mark Sloan.(Episode 18: Yesterday)
McHot - used by Alex Karev to describe Addison Montgomery-Shepherd.(Episode 18: Yesterday)
McYeah - George's assertion with the term used to describe Addison. (Episode 18: Yesterday)
McDreamy - While this nickname is used to describe Derek Shepherd, Izzy also uses this nickname to describe George being the centre of Callie's attraction. (Episode 22: Name of the Game)
McVet - given to veterinarian Finn Dandridge. (Episode 23: Blues for Sister Someone)
 Season 3
McGuilty - what Cristina calls Derek following his extramarital sex with Meredith at the prom that is being hosted in the hospital. (Episode 1: Time Has Come Today)
McBaby - what Cristina calls Meredith’s suspected pregnancy. (Episode 4: What I Am)
McNasty - George describing what Derek had allegedly done with the woman in his trailer. Unbeknownst to them, the woman was Derek's sister, Nancy. (Episode 6: Let the Angels Commit)
McHottie - George's term for Derek's sister, Nancy. (Episode 6: Let the Angels Commit)
McBastard - George labelling Derek, assuming that he was going to have intercourse with the woman in his trailer.(Episode 6: Let the Angels Commit)
McSister - given to Derek's sister, Nancy. (Episode 6: Let the Angels Commit)
McBitchy - Izzie refers to Derek’s sister, Nancy, after she insinuates that Meredith is the reason for the Shepherds’ divorce. (Episode 6: Let the Angels Commit)
McFreakin' Code of Silence - Callie yells at Meredith about telling George her secret affair with Sloan (Episode 9: From a Whisper to a Scream)
McSex - Callie’s reference to catching Meredith and Derek having sex at the prom.(Episode 9: From a Whisper to a Scream)
McLove Life - Christina's reference to Meredith's relationships (Episode 16: Drowning on Dry Land)
McCrap - Christina describing Meredith's problems.(Episode 16: Drowning on Dry Land)
The characters often say "seriously", usually at the end of a sentence, as a question or as a pronouncement. Krista Vernoff is credited with the introduction of the catchphrase, "seriously" into the dialogue of Grey's Anatomy episodes. Series creator Shonda Rhimes says that Vernoff used it frequently in the writer's room, and "said correctly, it can convey sarcasm, dismay, disbelief, a sense of moral and ethical superiority, and gentle chastising punishment, all at once."
 Sexually-Related Terms
Network censors make it difficult for writers to use sexually-related terms such as the word "vagina", which has led to several euphemisms for female genitalia or other sexually-related terms. These include:
"va-jay-jay" (Season 2 - Episode 17: As We Know It [Part 2])
"good girl" (Season 2 - Episode 24: Damage Case)
"hoo-hoo" (Season 3 - Episode 21: Desire).
In addition, network censoring caused the writers to use the phrase "cashing in [her] V-card" (Season 2 - Episode 27: Losing My Religion)was used as a euphemism for losing one's virginity.
Meredith's dialogue involves her talking and using well-known phrases but she trails off at the end and replaces the last word with "whatever".
 Season 3
"There are rules to this friendship thing or whatever" (Episode 7: Where the Boys Are)
"There's too much water under the thing or whatever" (Episode 7: Where the Boys Are)
"You are not my knight in shining whatever" (Episode 15: Walk on Water)
"I had a near-death whatever" (Episode 18: Scars and Souvenirs)
Regina Spektor... pure musical bliss for me. ok - so loving her hair in this video... but besides that - just listening to these words makes me happy. especially - "if you never say your name out loud to anyone they can never call you by it..."
that's all i've got for today. happy tuesday.