See this sweet, innocent face? So pure and innocent? YEAH. check that thought. this child has entered.. that's right, people. the terrible effin twos! I actually called my mother from the parking lot of target saturday after this sweet and innocent being had a complete meltdown that lasted from the pharmacy all the way out to the car, and said, "ok, mother, so tell me... at what age is it again safe to take children into public?"
i always used to comment, when i was young, single, un-mothered.. if you will.. about "those women". you know you all did it. "why on earth would that woman bring her child out if they are tired/cranky.miserable..." etc etc. you KNOW you did it. i KNOW i did it. and i solemnly swore to my mother... "i will NEVER be that woman". well, ladies, the jig is up. you don't purposely become THAT woman. it just happens. it happens when you least expect it. and you realize as you are pouring sweat down your forehead, standing at the pharmacy counter, picking up your anti-anxiety medication, that you are having an anxiety attack right then and there because a two year old little being has ultimately become possessed by some force stronger than you know.. called THE TEMPER TANTRUM.
i became that woman. people made comments to me as i passed. people said things to me in the parking lot, as though they had any idea what i as going through? "oh, looks like the little princess is tired!" - OR - "oh look at that little cutie.. she must be just having a bad day!".. NO!!! I say.. she's having a bad WEEK!!!! I didn't just say this.. in retrospect, i think i yelled this. i was that woman. CRAZY. DISTURBED. wondering.. how in the HELL did I get here? no one prepared me for this. this wasn't in the countless books i read.
i don't know how to deal with this. other than leave her home. all the time. do my errands between the hours of 8 and 10pm... thank GOD target is open that late and that my grocery store is open 24/7. i guess it too shall pass. as i write, i tend to dramatize it a little for writings sake... no i don't... what the eff am i thinking? it really happened like that. i then remarked to my husband this weekend... how do i cope with this? i'm not cut out for this. i don't have the skills. is this something i can learn? there is no reasoning with a force stronger than nature. this child has a temper like fire. and i've been hit, kicked, slapped.. you name it. yes. she's two.
so, oh great mothering reader presence. teach me. drop your words of wisdom. tell your friends... one of us is sinking, and she needs a life raft... ME! (really, i love my girl.. and life with her is more grand than i ever dreamed...i just can't skip a dose or two of the anxiety meds...hahahhaha)
have a SUPER monday. i have a new outlook for this week... and am going to approach the child like i approach work... i have to learn to be more proactive and keep her occupied enough that she won't have time to have a tantrum... yeah. good luck with that.