the big yellow truck is here...

and it's glowing in the driveway. she pulled in yesterday at about 10:00 am. the husband went and picked it up. we shelled out about 1900 bucks. and began to cram all of our life into the big yellow penske box. i chuckle, because that name.. penske, has been a large part of my work fabric for about the last 12 months. not the moving company, but a different division. i chuckle just the same. anyhow, i digress. the moving has officially begun. as of right now, i write to you from about the only piece of furniture left in the house. my desk. my sweet, handcrafted, scrapping, art table, of a desk my husband so sweet handcrafted for my about 6 years ago. i told all the friends here yesterday helping... whatever you do - don't pack up the desk! this momma has two more days of work left!!!

our life. in a truck. crammed into a big yellow box. it's really quite hard to believe you can condense every memory. every tear. every laugh. every hug. every sweet thing you've ever made with your child into a big. yellow. box. on wheels. that i'm told will only go 70 miles an hour. "when i'm not in a mountainous range." i chuckle. all in that box. and now we are faced with... will it all fit? we still have to cram in the sofas, the beds, the desk, the swingset, the bookcases, the kitchen table, the coffee table... and i think that's it. and there's a fear it won't fit. we sold a 4 wheeler yesterday in under 3 hours on craig's list for fear it wouldn't fit. (forget it was a piece of shit and hardly ran anyhow... it got sold!) yee haw! and this money will be used to pay off momma's 4 wheeler! I say good thinkin lincoln!

this adventure is rockin! we are on the move. and everything is pushing us there with no resistance whatsoever. we are going willfully and with excitement so much so that we cannot sleep. my husband has lost the look of tire and stress around his eyes. he has a look of happy in his face again. that same look i remembered when we got married. funny - i had actually forgotten he once looked that way - until it showed itself again. that was such a sweet memory. having him home this week, too, has been awesome, as this is what i get. every day. from here on out. i get to have him. everyday. here. with us. he will be working from home too. our quality of life is good. pure goodness. just us. the three of us. together. no stress. just us. ding what we love and being where we love. exploring and creating a new life together. i'm liking the way this looks so far. and we're not even there yet.

we're just in the big yellow box and already the sun is shining in my driveway. and life is good.

peace and be good people.


pizza is your karma.

(written on 06.04.11, 38,000 miles in the sky, on my way to oregon)

It all began a Saturday afternoon. We were attempting to prepare for our move to Oregon. Our first weekend of productivity. We had boxes. We had motivation. We had teamwork. We took a break. Dad and kennedy were playing some kinect. I was taking a snooze on the couch. All I knew, was I was awakened to the cry. You know the cry. The one where you mothering instincts go into overdrive. You leap up, you begin gathering things, because you know it’s going to be a long afternoon in the ER. You grab snacks. Her lovey. Comfortable clothes. And you know something is broken. She was celebrating a victory in boxing with dad, fell just right while jumping up and down and landed just right and broke her wrist. Again.

We spent a better part of the afternoon in the ER. We witnessed homeless people. Drug addicts. People who simply needed attention. People who needed to be loved. People who needed to be needed. we were triaged and never actually taken back into a room. We were cared for by an awesome team of doctors and nurses the whole time, but we got to see all the action in the main area of the ER. My husband was amazed. You see, in all the times we’ve been in the hospital with me, it’s been pretty bad so we’ve been sequestered into a private room we never witnessed the travesty of the public lives you hear about on the news. The girl that comes in with a drug addiction so bad she’s succumbed to begging for prescription drugs by faking an ankle injury. Yup, we saw it. We were in awe. Kennedy was a trooper through the whole experience. My husbands eyes were wide opened that day.

At one point as we were about to get casted he hands me the phone and tells me to go and order these people some dinner. I laughed and walked away. He says, no really. we have to DO something. He goes on to tell me he can’t believe all he is witnessing… he is appalled at society and all that has walked through the doors. The least we can do is brighten the days of these doctors and buy them some dinner. This coming from a man who never feels we owe anything to anyone. I ask him if he is serious he tells me YES! Pay it forward. This is our karma. This is our chance. Go order dinner for these people. They work tirelessly. Endlessly. Caring for people who will never pay their bills who will never thank them. Do it.

And so I did. We ordered three pizzas and some salads for the ER staff that night at community general. My heart soared that evening. Not because of the idea… oh look at me. Look what I can do. But because… look at us. Look at the couple that we’ve become. We can finally do good. We can pay it forward. We are doing one small kind gesture. And who gives a shit if it ever comes back to us. It doesn’t even matter. It just plain felt good. We walked in God’s grace for a moment. And when the doc told us we were all set to go we told her we could not leave yet, we had to sign for her dinner.. she didn’t believe us. I told her it was the least we could do. The look in her eye told me that very moment something had shifted in or life. I knew tat moment of paying it forward was huge.

I’ve always believed in small gestures of kindness for strangers. And I’ve always done them. My husband always thought I was crazy. “why do you do so much for others.” “no one ever does anything for you, etc”…. and I tell him, because one day, my karma is gonna kick me in the ass, lift me up, spin me around and take me on one hell of a ride, and I am quite surprised, as I’m in the midst of the ride right now, 38,000 miles up in the air, writing this from an airplane.

As we planned this cross country move to Oregon, of course, there was some fear. It’s a huge financial burden. It’s scary. There is a great load of planning that goes into this, especially when you are the mover, the packer, everything. We opted to do this all ourselves. We had to find our own house, truck to move, everything. Form the moment we made the decision to move, every single step to get us closer has fallen into place like a well choreographed ballet. In the almost 12 years we have been together, nothing, and I mean nothing has ever gone this well. This tells me, in my serendipitous belief – we are meant to be in Oregon. Everything is pointing us there.

We began looking for a house months in advance. Our target move date was late june. We found a house May 1st. someone was already in line to rent it. Their app fell through. The house was perfect for us. We got approved. With no problems. It’s in my sister-in-law’s neighborhood. Karma. there was then a worry over how we would sign a lease as the rental company required us to be there in person. My job required I travel to Oregon the first week of june on business. Karma? Serendipity? Perfect.

The house is 75% packed 4 weeks before the move date. We are organized. We are ready. Ron has a job. Karma. He will work from home. We will both work east coast hours. Karma. Our quality of life just climbed up through the roof. Karma. Our current landlord told us to keep our last months rent rather than him send us our security as he knew it would be helpful with a cross country move. Karma. We didn’t even ask. He said “because you’re good people”. Karma.

All I know. I am on cloud nine. Literally right now. Writing from the clouds on my plane from Chicago to Portland where I will connect to Redmond. The center seat is empty. Karma. The flight is smooth. The view looks like heaven, if heaven is clear skies, with big puffy clouds, and snow covered mountain tops… it’s just gorgeous up here. Life is good. I’m on top of the world. And this roller coaster ride that karma is taking me on is one serendipitous turn after another and I’m loving it. Stay tuned while I chronicle the adventures of our cross country move and our new life in bend. daddy leaves on the 22nd, K and I leave on the 25th. Can’t. hardly.wait.

Peace and be good.