something is shifting...

...and i don't understand it. and it's making me angry. see - i've been working really hard. working to be better. to be a better me. a better momma. a better daughter. a better wife. a better friend. things have begun to fall into place. life is easier. happiness has found a place by my side. i notice the little things. i take it all in. and i'm enjoying the moments found.

however, all around me? it's shifting. i have witnessed loss, deception, pain, fear, anger, sadness. my heart breaks for things i have no control over. goodness has shifted into my soul - and yet around me, it's seeping away. i have an urgency to do more. to contribute. to make a difference. more so than ever.

i've been crying a lot lately. but something has shifted. it's not tears for myself. it's grief i'm feeling for others. i want to be selfish for a minute and think: maybe now i'm able to do so because i'm no longer so self-absorbed in my own sadness. we'll go with that. i like that. and i'm pushed. i'm pushed to do more.

not quite sure what MORE is yet. but providing i continue on this new path of mine, something MORE will show itself to me. and i won't have to try so hard to find it.

be good, people. peace.


Edgar said...

I like your writing style. It's beautiful stream of conscious, and I like it.

Melonie said...

So glad to read this Shell!